we're chasing vodka with high fives
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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