If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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