I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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