I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize