OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
