You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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