He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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