i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Less talking, more tequila
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
