I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
