she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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