Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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