stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
