I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
