So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
