So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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