I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
