Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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