This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
