Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
