sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
