I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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