yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Randomize