I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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