It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
