thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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