Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
