guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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