On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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