I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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