u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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