So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
