Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
