I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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