thus making me awesome and them whores
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
