Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
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They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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