I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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