so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think people are normalizing furries
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your penis caused this!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
