Just cropdusted the office
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
