so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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