entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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