Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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