yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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