nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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