I heard we made out
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
