You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish i was in the wii world.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
