my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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