I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
