if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
