That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
