tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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