bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
