I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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