We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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