it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
