I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
