Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
