John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
