After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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