zippers are such a cool invention
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
