I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea