His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.