afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...